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"We're both intelligent, loving people. We can even see what we're doing, as we are doing it, that starts things going off the rails, but can't seem to stop it once it starts moving in that direction. No matter what we do, we can't seem to fix this. It's a cycle that keeps us stuck. We want that to change."
That's something I hear in many first sessions with the couples I see. The couples I work with are intelligent, very capable people who genuinely love each other. They are skilled at managing so many demands in their lives, yet often struggle to get what they both long for in their relationship, whether they've been together for 6 months, 6 years or 26 years.
Maybe you've been thinking one or more of the following:
You've been through a lot together:
You want your relationship to work, to grow and to be fulfilling for both of you. Like many of us, you're both so busy with managing all the demands of work, kids, finances, blended families etc and have grown apart as you spend less time for the two of you. Maybe something happened to disrupt trust between you, or there are issues like depression, anxiety, drinking or drug use that can cloud the connection you have with each other. Whatever the issues are that brought you here, you've tried everything you know to do. Things seem to improve, at first, but then you seem to find your way back to the same place, and the cycle starts again.
There's good news. Relationship therapy, specifically Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples can help put you on the right track together. It can give you and your partner the deep insights, understanding and practical tools to support your relationship, build trust, and give you a path to the loving, energizing and fulfilling bond you both desire.
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